ring, ring, ring? Who is calling?

So, this past Sunday was palm Sunday, and let me tell you, the palm branches were flailing as we worshipped Jesus in Nikoyoyo Hall!  It was beautiful and brings a smile to my face just thinking about it!

Pause in the story.

The school semester has now finished- I am a graduate of UCU Study Abroad Semester.  This past week, the group has been discussing what it means to have a calling.  Do we have a call?  Do individuals have special calls?

Think about Moses, Joseph, Joshua, the first disciples, Elijah, Jonah, and Noah.  God spoke to all these people directly or through an angel.  I have often thought, "Wouldn't that be sweet if God could tell me specifically what He wanted me to do just like He told these people!"  Can you imagine God speaking to you through a burning bush as you are walking down the road, or can you imagine suddenly seeing an angel as you are making dinner?

The thing is, these people who God called were the humblest- they were from the smallest tribe, they were the youngest, they were those who others looked down upon, they were common people.  It is true that God did speak specific callings to these people, but have you ever thought about all of the other hundreds of people that were involved in these stories?  Have you read the stories from the perspective of the crowds or the townspeople: the hardworking mother of 5 children, the adventurous 12-year-old boy, or the respected grandmother?  Has not God also called these people?

Have you ever played the game of Mafia?  You know, in a group of people, you pass out cards and the kings are mafias, the queens are doctors, the jacks are sheriffs, and the number cards are townspeople.  So, in that game, who are the majority of the people? doctors? no. sheriffs? no. townspeople? yes. The majority of the people are TOWNSPEOPLE.  Normal? yes.  Important? YES.  Just because townspeople are the majority does not mean they don't have a "calling."  Rather, their calling is a community calling to discover the mafia and save the community.  It is worthy.

Calling. Do you realize we all have one, together, as follows of Jesus?  My heart has desired a "specific" calling that is "unique" and "special."  However, embedded within that desire, is all too often my desire for recognition or power.  I like to feel like I am different than others (like being a sheriff or a doctor!).  However, it is not my Kingdom that needs building.  It is God's Kingdom!  And He has given us a calling!

¹⁴ For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died. ¹⁵ And he died for all, that those who live should no longer live for themselves but for him who died for them and was raised again.
 ¹⁶ So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. Though we once regarded Christ in this way, we do so no longer. ¹⁷ Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come:^[a] The old has gone, the new is here! ¹⁸ All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: ¹⁹ that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people’s sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation.²⁰ We are therefore Christ’s ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ’s behalf: Be reconciled to God. ²¹ God made him who had no sin to be sin^[b] for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. -2 Corinthians 5:14-21

That is our call- together :).  We are ambassadors of the Almighty God- compelled by the love of Christ. We do not bring the kingdom of God ourselves, rather we testify to the Kingdom of God already being here!

Unpause top story.

--random interjection: a Ugandan friend just told me: "bonfires are good when you are roasting a goat."  I was expecting marshmallows, but goats are good too :)--

So, when Jesus entered Jerusalem on a donkey, with everyone waving their palm branches and shouting Hosanna in the highest!, who are the characters that are most commonly remembered?  I would say Jesus and the donkey.  So, do you want to be the donkey, one who Jesus' calls?  or, more commonly, a townsperson, waving the branches, worshipping the King?  Let us together, simply hold to our call to be an ambassador to the Lord!  That looks different for various people, animals, and creation, but we are simply called to be obedient!  We have that calling together.

What has this taught me? relax.  humble myself.  God's Kingdom is here.  We are ambassadors.  Our call is to be obedient testimonies to His faithfulness, and we do not need a voice from Heaven to tell us that because we have already been told!  Let's take this calling seriously, and commit ourselves to the reign of Christ over all else.

Okay- good night friends!

PRAY: Tomorrow morning, the group is leaving for Rwanda.  A brief history: 17 years ago in April, there was a genocide in Rwanda where 800,000 people were killed in 100 days.  It will be the anniversary while we are there, so please pray that all of Rwanda would experience a greater part of God's heart of reconciliation.  Also, pray that all of our hearts would be protected from fear or doubt.  May this be a time of further uniting and understanding our identity in the body of Christ- the world Church.

With love (nkwagala- i love you),
nicole

Restoration of Voices

A few weekends ago, a group of 14 travelled by van to Gulu, a district in northern Uganda.  Many of us Americans associate Northern Uganda with what Invisible Children has taught us: themes running along the lines of child soldiers, war, Joseph Kony, HIV/AIDS, and others...  all of these things are aspects of the history of the North, but solely individual facts which, in reality, are woven together with feelings of defeat and hope, suffering and life, deep pain and powerful joy- God's presence in it all. This group visited an organization called Child Voice International. Words I would use to describe the 2 generations of women affected by the war in this place: raw, beautiful, strong, family-focused, pain, life, freedom, fight.  The perseverance of these 13 women and their children, whose voices at one time seemed silenced and forgotten, are surely being strengthened through the power of Our faithful God!!

"By that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all... Since that time he waits for his enemies to be made his footstool, because by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy." -Hebrews 10: 10, 13-14

Here is some background on the organization from the ChildVoice website:

ChildVoice International was born in April 2006 after visits to Uganda revealed the hidden horrors of a long-running war. The Lord’s Resistance Army has staged a 20-year rebellion during which it has sustained its forces by kidnapping children and forcing them to become soldiers, forcing them to march through the bush and carry out acts of brutality on villagers across Northern Uganda. An estimated 30,000 children have been abducted since the war’s start. Many have escaped and found their way back to their home communities – many of them shadows of their former selves. These children face innumerable hardships, from post-traumatic stress disorder to lack of education.

By 2005, with internally displaced persons (IDP) camps swelling and the incidents of sexual assaults and disease increasing, non-governmental organizations (NGO) were working in the region to provide short-term solutions for returning abductees and displaced villagers. But it was clear that more help was needed. After spending a year researching the issues, developing on-the-ground contacts, and working with experienced NGO managers, Conrad Mandsager developed the concept of a long-term rehabilitation center for child victims of war. The program model would address not only the mental health and educational needs of individual victims, but also the health and reconciliation needs of communities torn apart by war.

When we arrived at Child Voice, we were greeted by the ululations and dancing of the women under the black sky and sparkling stars. IEIEIEIIEIEIEIIEIEIIEEIEI!!!!! Wow. This is going to be an amazing weekend.  These women have such different backgrounds from us. How will we connect? We got out of the dusty van after about 7 hours of driving to be shown to our huts and hammocks that we would be sleeping in!!! :)  What will tomorrow hold?


The next day, we met a man named Nicolas who is a Social Worker, Councilor, and in the process of getting His Masters of Divinity, and had planted himself in Gulu throughout the war.  He also helped design the counseling program at Child Voice.  This man was incredible.  He testified to God's faithfulness and presence throughout the war, as one whose cousin had been abducted twelve years, and is still with Kony's army who is now in the Congo.

Throughout the weekend, we were able to see glimpses of the girls lives... it was such a beautiful picture of God's reconciliation and faithfulness.  Through the 18 months in the program, the girls received psychological and spiritual counseling, learned life skills such as conflict management and how to work together as a community, and did skills training in cooking, hair solon, bead business and more..  IT IS AWESOME!!  There is such restoration that happens as the girls gain back confidence and understand the value they have in being children of the awesome God... Satan is crushed every day, and these girls' lives are testimonies to there being "no fear in love, but perfect love casting out fear" (1 John 4:18).

some of the beautiful ladies who taught me some dance moves one night under the stars :)!

I have been thinking more lately about what fears have a hold on me in my life... and how really, they are all insignificant.  The fear of failure.  The fear of insignificance. The fear of conformity. The fear of death. All are made void in Christ.... spend some time thinking about that today :).

"Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful... But we are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed, but of those who believe and are saved." -Hebrews 10:23, 39

Riddle for today :)

The last night on my rural homestay I listened to many african traditional stories after dinner along with some riddles :)

Here is one for you today:

A leopard, a chicken, and millet (its like grain) are on the left side of the river. They need to get to the right side of the river.  A person can bring them across one by one.  How do they all get to the other side of the river?

hint: a leapord eats a chicken if left alone with it, and the chicken eats the millet if left alone with it.

enjoy :)

Receiving

play this while you read: revelation by Third Day.

"Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands." -Deuteronomy 7:9

So it is raining right now, the water refreshing the plants, suppressing the dust, and bringing a gift of coolness to all of us students :).   ...and i just hung up my laundry an hour ago! man. I guess they will get an extra rinse.

There is something about rain that brings peace and refreshment.  It reminds me of a verse that had been influential in my life this past year: "I will sprinkle clean water on you, and you will be clean; I will cleanse you from all your impurities and from all your idols.  I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you; I will remove from you your heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.  And I will put my Spirit in you and move you to follow my decrees and be careful to keep my laws." -Ezekiel 36:25-27

ALL of the verbs in these verses are things that the Lord promises to DO! it is simply a matter of time... and a thousand years is like a day and a a day is like a thousand years to God.  It is the Lord who acts... and what am I learning to do? receive.  Here is the story...

This week God refreshed my spirit again!  I lived with a woman named Mama Hellen in a village in Seroti, part of rural Uganda.  It was a week full of cooking, sweeping the compound, washing laundry, killing a chicken :), visiting people, learning a bit of a new language called Ateso, and sharing many stories together.

Mama Hellen teaching me how to carry a 20 liter jerry can of water on my head! i took maybe 20 steps with it- so heavy ;)

At the end of the week, I was picked up first on the bus and simply felt numb.  It was a beautiful week- full of laughs, thoughts, and love.  I didn't know what to think or how to feel on the bus watching my mama and the compound fade with distance.  As we picked up the other girls from their families, I witnessed the good byes, the tears of some of the girls, and the sincere waves and smiles of the mamas and papas as the bus pulled away.  I prayed God would let us feel the beauty of the experience, would open our eyes to see as He did, and thanked him for His love we experienced through our families.

The week before that I had been struggling with the concept of the Kingdom of God being here "now" and "not yet."  The following verse had been on my mind:

"I have been crucified with Christ, and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and give himself for me." -Gal. 2:20

What does it mean that we are crucified with Christ?  How come I feel like I so often follow the desires of my flesh- why is it still such a struggle to keep my heart and mind in truth?

As I got off the bus, I started walking and the tears began falling. why? I didn't quite know.  I just had this feeling of peace and newness in me that was growing, replacing the numbness.  God convicted me that I so often still live in this world in my own power... that is why I struggle against my human desires.  

However, He began to reveal to me how much I had received this past week from my mama and the other Ugandans I had met.  I received sincere love, stories from the traditional African tribe, the food that was picked, pealed, and cooked by loving hands, and the full presence of another person as well as the Lord.  I wept as Christ's love for me was realized in a new way in my heart and mind.  I finally realized the power that comes in letting yourself receive things from others and God.  The power of his grace is everpresent to us!  And yet so often I unintentionally deny His grace by working at things on my own.  May we learn to simply receive (or receive and embrace as my friend amy told me a few weeks ago)! Ask and receive.  The Lord knows, sees, and is everpresently with each of us!  Right now, He sees you, loves you way more than you could ever imagine, and desires you to know Him.  receive that. let the Lord heal you, redeem you, fill you.

Matthew 10:7-8 says, "As you go, preach this message: 'The kingdom of heaven is near.'  Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons.  Freely you have received, freely give."

This is what Jesus told the twelve disciples when he sent them out.  It is like pouring a cup of water:  If the cup freely receives the water, the water will fill the cup as well as overflow out of the cup to the cup's surroundings.  May we be that cup that is always ready to receive from the Lord because what He gives will overflow into the lives of those around us- and it will be the Lord's energy rather than our own.

receiving chickens, ground nuts, rain, and joy,

niki christine (as my mama called me :) )

I pray you also receive the joy, grace, and love of the Lord this day!  ...that was really long. sorry!

Changing Tides....

So, this has been a crazy past 24 hours for our group!  We have been cramming out papers in preparation to go to rural homestays this coming week- leaving today!  We are all filled with excitement, exhaustion (good thing we can sleep for the 6 hour drive if necessary!), and some fears with the oncoming of new experiences!

Anyways, I planned on sharing more about rafting this past week, but I will share this reflection on presence here in Mukono:

Presence.

Walking slowly by slowly, one sandal sifting the dirt after the other.

The sun quickly and silently sets, 7:25 pm.

Two men squatting Indian style, either waiting for the day to pass, or rather pleasantly sitting presently together?

A woman, straight-backed and bent at the waist, sweeping dust from dirt in the front of her lean-to fruit shop.

A girl of eight years carrying a bambina in her arms, meandering slowly, her deep brown eyes sneaking a glance at me as she passes.

A boy, stomach bulging from lack of nutrition, bathing himself with cool water from the basin in the public freedom of the outdoors.

“Mzungu, how are you?” the boda driver casually asks.

I am stuck. Westernism. Tradition.

The battle rages.

I have no control.

May the beauty of tradition not be lost.

May my white presence bring appreciation for the present beautiful tradition rather than a destructive need for comfortable change.

The control resides in Your present, faithful hands.

Love you all!  Off to experience rural Uganda, which is what 80% of Ugandans live in... yay!

Off Tu context...

I am about 50 hours in to my social work internship :).  Here is a glimpse into the Off Tu environment:

First, the background: Off Tu Mission is an agency in mukono (the town i am staying in), which exists for children who have lived on the streets of kampala (check out http://www.envplan.com/abstract.cgi?id=d46j for a short abstract of more info).  It was founded in 1998 by a German missionary family who who partnered with a few other Ugandans to form a tight-knit team brought together by the Lord!

First impressions of the facilities:

1. peace:  the majority of the compound is open grass, trees, and space for playing football (well... soccer), running around, and talking under shady trees :).  What a beautiful space!

2.  Love!  The people who run Off Tu are strong women and men who love the Lord, love children, love each other, and are tied together with commitment.

3. life :)  the 15 children that live in the children's center are full of excitement, love, and creativity..

We spend our time here talking and learning from Mutti (mother in German), Julius (our great supervisor), Cisy, and Robert- who all play parental roles in the children's lives; playing games with the children, teaching a gym class at Off Tu Academy, and getting into some other teaching roles this week. Something that continue to amaze me is the perseverance, dedication, and faithfulness of all teachers.  Wow.  What amazing people God has created and gifted to invest, support, challenge, and train children!!

anyways....

The first week at Off Tu, the children were still on holiday, so our supervisor wanted us to see the environment from where the Off Tu children come from so we can better understand and relate to them.  As we drove in the four-wheel drive down dusty dirt roads along the backstreets of Kampala, we saw the environment begin to change from crowded streets with lots of trinkets, clothes, shoes, etc. being sold to a more rural setting... the road becomes bumpier and we begin to see the small brick homes changing into single-room homes made of mud walls... we were entering into a slum of kampala.  

This is a view of the slum as we neared.

**now, here is where i become hesitant in telling the story because words can never give a complete understanding of an experience- they fail to capture the sparkle in one's eyes, the smells, the feelings completely.  So, just know this is the point in the story where i struggle to share the physical, emotional, and spiritual reality and keep the balance of hope and hardship...**

We drove past this water on our way to another slum... the homes are basically sitting in a marsh!  Rainy season comes... I don't know what happens.  It looks beautiful though, and provides clean water when the rain comes!

This specific slum, located at the bottom of a hill, I will describe from far off as appearing like a maze of playing cards that kids spend hours on... in entering into that maze of homes, paths weave through the lines of mud homes roughly containing a bed, a curtain for the door, and other possessions in the back.  all for a family.  Muddy water slowly ran in a dip on one side of the thin path between the homes.  When rainy season comes, one can guess the damage of flooding, mud, and sickness that can seap in...  Most of these are single-mother homes and fathers are not often in the picture.  As we meandered past homes looking for one of the girls- Lovis, she found us from behind, bringing so much joy with her hugs and smiles.  She brought us to her home to meet her mom and siblings.  We chatted for a bit (well i should say, Julius and the mother chatted for a bit in Luganda), and then the mother presented MB (a fellow SW intern), Katherine, and I with necklaces she had made.  As she placed the string of green, rolled-paper beads around my head, I was overwhelmed with thankfulness.  Julius later told us that this mother was so thankful for the education, dedication, and love that Lovis was receiving... 

this experience made me think about the vulnerability, resiliency, and strength in people, children specifically.  Lovis can come to Off Tu and develop life skills, get an education, and have loving support but what about her family?  What about her siblings.... she does not even know how many siblings she has... or who her father is... What about her mother, whom i greatly respect and admire for her perseverance in raising this family and starting up a new business?  Is there support?

I see the importance of teetering the line of seeing the hope of the Lord using Off Tu mission in Lovis' life and the brokenness of economic poverty and non-committed relationships.  May the Lord continue open the eyes of Christians in this place to take care of widows and orphans, and may He continue to bring spiritual, emotional, and physical restoration now- for we must not forget that His kingdom is for now.... and also fully not yet!

His Kingdom come and will be done among these beautiful children of kampala streets, and may Christians have ears to hear and eyes to see His calling on our lives- not action out of guilt but out of love!

Presence... in a new home :)

The past 2 weeks, the group had the opportunity to live with a Ugandan family!

Some specifics about my family:

-       3 generations present: my mom and dad (Jane and Hunnington), 3 of their 4 children (who have already started their own families- Betty, Joseph, and Procy), and 6 grandchildren ranging from 3 months old to 10 yrs old (Mark, also know as bambina (baby), Arnold-2, Moses-4, Vivian-6, Isaac-8, and Arthur-10).

-       Betty and Procy were just their on holiday and went back to their homes after I left.

I LOVE this family J. … well all the group loved their families- God is faithful in that.

During the weekends, when I didn’t have school, I spent the day doing practical family things: get up at 7 am, take tea, wash laundry, chat, wash dishes, play with kids, prepare lunch, eat lunch at 2-3 pm, go to the garden to pick more food (and eat sugar cane!!! J), return home, take tea, play with kids, wash dishes, bathe, help prepare dinner, eat dinner 9-10 pm, family prayers/songs, and bed. presence.

…and Sundays: church!

This experience definitely taught me more about myself:

1.     I like to keep busy.

2.     I am individualistic.

3.     I doubt.

4.     One of my favorite things is connecting with people through laughter.

The experience also taught me more about others:

1.     Presence= love whether you are talking or not.

2.     Laughter/smiles cross all cultures.

The experience also showed me more of God:

1.     God is faithful to meet physical, spiritual, and emotional needs.

2.     ….ALWAYS faithful.

3.     I can have faith because of His faithfulness.

One of my favorite memories of the homestay was simply sitting and being with my mother and sister at night in the outdoor kitchen simply watching them cook by firelight and simply being present…

In one of my classes now, we are reading Primal Vision- a book written by a white missionary in who lived in Uganda for 8 yrs and founded the seminary at the campus I am living on right now.  The key concept touched on so far is this idea of presence.  It all relates back to Jesus because in Him, God came into the world and made himself present to broken people.  Presence with others is the Gospel lived out- and its a crazy concept when you think about how back until Adam and Eve, this process of turning others back to each other, God, and even the reality of themselves has been in process... we are part of this grand plan, where past runners have  passed the baton on and are encouraging us to continue on running after the Lord together and sharing His presence!

…. And it is something very hard to do in a culture as time-oriented as America is.  I am seeing how I have valued “getting things done” and “efficiency” over relationship- simply being with another.  I am not saying efficiency is bad, because in many cases I believe it is helpful and strategic, but the goal should always be relationship even within that: presence.  i am simply learning to be :)

Last thought: even at home, it’s way more fun to do laundry, dishes, and cooking with other people- I am appreciating YOU right now mom J.

In growing faith in the God who is continually faithful!!

nicole